Wedding Handbook - Omaha Bible Church

Introduction

All church program planning is done by the Board of Elders. However, since most weddings are traditionally planned by the contracting parties or their families, the procedure for planned weddings differs from other public services that are conducted by Omaha Bible Church. This Wedding Information Manual is provided to assure a smooth planning procedure for all weddings. The procedure described is followed in order to bring the proper emphasis and meaning to the marriage ceremonies that are performed at Omaha Bible Church.

Let us begin by addressing two topics of concern which usually arise when weddings are in the planning stages.

The first topic relates to the incorporation of philosophies, traditions, music, etc., of the world system into the marriage ceremony. Obviously, the world's point of view of Christ, love and marriage is quite different from the biblical perspective. Transplanting the philosophies of the world into a church does not transform that philosophy, but rather tends to confuse an otherwise clear statement of the Scriptures. It also forces compromise on the part of the Christian. For a clear statement of Christian marriage to be maintained at the wedding ceremony, great care is needed to avoid transplanting the world's views into the ceremony.

A second topic of concern is that the wedding ceremony be a simple and clear statement of a biblical personal commitment between a man and woman before God. This, in essence, is what the wedding ceremony is all about. A wedding with the emphasis that the Word of God places on marriage will be a clear testimony by its very nature.

Procedure for Reserving a Wedding Date

Fill out and return Bride's and Groom's questionnaires.

Read this manual. It will answer many questions about procedures and fees.

Call the church office for an appointment with one of the pastors (402) 573-1897 or email us using the "Contact Us" tab at the top of your web page. At this time a date can be tentatively reserved on the church calendar.

Bring Wedding Manual and any questions with you to the appointment. The date of the ceremony can normally be confirmed at this appointment.

Background in Scripture for Weddings

The details for wedding ceremonies in Scriptures are few at best. One such account is found in Genesis 24 in the Old Testament where Rebecca was chosen by the parents of Isaac. This family arrangement of the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca was typical of wedding customs in the Old Testament period.

The New Testament provides very little information concerning how wedding ceremonies were conducted. Even so, it is very clear that the conducting of a formal marriage ceremony was the proper procedure for the man and woman who wanted to live together as husband and wife. The question of exactly how they were married is left unanswered.

Actual procedure was apparently determined by local custom and the laws of the land. Weddings seem to have been performed in Oriental fashion, with the families being responsible for both selecting the marriage partners and planning the wedding ceremony. The ceremony was evidently conducted in a somewhat private and secluded manner, followed by a more public reception or wedding feast celebrated at another location (see Matthew 25).

Wedding Procedure at Omaha Bible Church

The following policies are designed to foster an enjoyable as well as Christ-centered ceremony and reception.

The elders of Omaha Bible CHurch acknowledge that the folloing policies are just that--policy. They are not prescriptively outlined in the BIble, nor could they be, as the BIble is not a wedding policy manual. However, the public testimony of the church is a great concern and therefor impacts our policies.

The procedures outlined below are given for you assistance as a suggested outline of what we think is a properly ofdered Christian service that brings glory to God. We do realize that the wedding service is of great personal importance to each couple, and we want to work with you to ensure that you are pleased with the content and tone of your wedding service. Please discuss your desire for you wedding ceremony with the appropriate wedding coordinator or officiating pastor.

CEREMONIES

Wedding ceremonies, Scripture readings, etc, used at the ceremony are prepared by the staff. The basic ceremony is contained in this manual for your review. ANy variation must be submitted for evaluation at least two weeks before the wedding date.

COUNSELING

The joining of two lives in holy matrimony must be entered into with all seriousness. It is a couple's responsibility to make sure that they understand the scriptural teachings concerning the various responsibilities in marriage, especially the responsibilities of each partner as outlined in Ephesians 5. The staff is available to instruct, encourage, and reinforce the statement of Scripture concerning responsibility, permanency and unity of the marriage. An appointment for a consultation should be made as soon as possible after the decision to be married. Preparation is accomplished through consultation, premarital Bible studies, and recommended reading.

Weddings are performed at Omaha Bible Church with the understanding that the man and woman have personally trusted in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. If neither or only one of the parties is a believer, the marriage cannot be performed by the staff. It is important that in the first counseling session the engaged couple be prepared to give testimony concerning their faith in Christ and how they came to trust Him as Savior.

Premarital Bible studies are organized for engaged couples, and are requred as part of the preparations for the wedding. this program is five sessions and covers many of the important issues involved in a Biblical marraige bond, such as the role of men and women as a married couple, the nature and reason for the marriage bond, financial stability, communication, and the physical relationship.

FEES

There is a $150 fee payable to Omaha Bible Church. The fee is due upon the first meeting with the wedding coordinator.

PLANNING

Wedding planning is done in close association with the wedding coordinator appointed by the church. Any matters concerning procedure are discussed and approved by the staff and the wedding coordinator.

Following is a list of the wedding coordinator's responsibilities:

--Explaning church wedding policies, available equipment, and fee structure.

--Consulting with you on the details of your wedding (questions concerning the reception, if held at the church, should be directed to the reception coordinator).

--Enlisting a sound operator.

--Providing instruction at the rehearsal.

--Ensuring a smooth procession of scheduled events on your wedding day.

Friday night rehearsal are scheduled for 6pm, with musician sound checks at 5:15pm. In light of this, please schedule rehearsal dinners no earlier than 7:45pm to give adequate time. Weddings on Saturdays are conducted at 2:00pm. Weddings may also be scheduled on some Friday evenings.

Ensure that you have first scheduled the date with the officiating pastor. Upon reserving the date, the couple should also schedule their first counseling session with the pastor.

The ceremony and reception coordinators should be contacted in a week or two after meeting to further discuss the procedures that are followed in the wedding services. Approximately two weeks before the ceremony the couple should check with the ceremony coordinator, the reception coordinator, and the officiating pastor to verify that all details are in order. The responsibility of setting a time for the necessary meetings is incumbent on the bride and groom. It is essential that all changes of plans are communicated as soon as possible.

General Conduct

Certain principles of conduct apply to all weddings held in the church building. These are listed below to enable you to inform the members of your families, your wedding party, and your guests.

--Please do not throw rice, confetti, bird seed, etc., inside or outside the church building.

--Smoking is not permitted in the church building. This includes dressing rooms and restrooms.

--Due to liability concerns, the use of alcohol is not permitted in the church building; this includes rehearsal dinners, receptions, and the wedding itself.

DRESS

The dress of the wedding party itself should be modest. If a tuxedo is required for the officiating pastor, the rental cost is the responsibility of the couple.

MUSIC

Wedding ceremonies at Omaha Bible Church are considered services where the bride and groom publicly profess their faith in Christ and their willingess to sumit themselves together to His purpose in their lives. In light of our purpose to worship God in our wedding ceremonies, it is necessary that the wedding couple select all music for the ceremony with this goal in mind.

VOCAL MUSIC

There are two rules that govern the selection of vocal music for wedding ceremonies at Omaha Bible Church.

--All vocal music must be doctrinally consistent with the common practice of music ministry at OBC. In more specifci terms, it must be biblically sound in its textual content.

--The officiating pastor for your wedding ceremony must be comfrotable with your msucial selections. All vocal music must be presented to him for his approval no later than thirty days prior to your wedding ceremony.

INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC

Instrumental music in a wedding ceremony is functional in nature--serving either as background music for the prelude and postlude or as "walking music" for the processional and recessional. Your selection of music for these elements should serve and facilitate the function--not bring any undo attention to itself, but rather enable the moment. Your accompanist or isntrumental ensemble may be able to assist you in selecting some music that will serve the needs of these moments.

In the absence of a sung text, instrumental music derives its meaning from its style and when applicable, the text that is most often associated with it. Once again, pastoral approval is required thirty days in advance of the wedding ceremony.

PERSONNEL

In addition to our emphasis on the music itself being an expression of worship to God, it is also essntial that the musicians involved in your wedding ceremony exhibit a testimony of true Christian worship in their lives. A person's testimony should be your first consideration when considering him/her for a position of musical ministry in your wedding. More specific guidelines are as follows:

--All musicians participating in a wedding ceremony at Omaha Bible Church must have a personal testimony of faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of their lives.

--Musicians for your wedding may be family members, friends of the couple, or members of the Omaha BIble Church body. All musicians must be approved by the officiating minister prior to their being asked to participate in the wedding ceremony.

--It is your responsibility to see that all musicians have the necessary selections well in advance (approximately 60 days) to ensure the quality and comfort of their performance.

Music played at the reception or in picture videos must follow the policy for the ceremony as seen above.

DECORATIONS

Neither tacks nor tape may be used in the auditorium or reception room.

PHOTOGRAPHS

Photographs must be completed 45 minutes before the wedding ceremony begins. This is crucial. We ask that pictures be taken before the ceremony or mak arrangements offsite, after the recessional and receiving lines are finished. Photographs may not be taken during the ceremony, with the excpetion of the processional and recessional. Please inform your photographer(s) of this for scheduling purposes.

Any videography must be arranged by the couple.

OFFICIATING PASTOR

Church staff members perform all weddings at OBC. It is not the regular practice to involve family or friends in an officiating capacity.

The couple may choose to give an honorarium to the officiating pastor.

Ceremony

ORDER OF SERVICE

A suggested basic order of service:

Prelude*

Lighting of Candles

Grandparents Seated

Groom's Parents Seated

Bride's Mother Seated

Wedding Processional

Wedding Ceremony (see outline format)

Wedding Recessional

Bride's Parents Ushered Out

Groom's Parents Ushered Out

Congregation Dismissed

*Continue through seating of guests

CEREMONY FORMAT

Do not deviate from this format unless approved by the officiating pastor:

Welcome

Prayer

Giving of the Bride

Affirmations of Faith

Special Music (Selection #1)*

Spiritual Instruction

Exchange of Vows

Giving of Rings

Lighting of Unity Candle

Special Music (Selection #2)**

Official Pronouncement

Kiss/Embrace

Official Introduction

*Placing special music between the Affirmations of Faith and Spiritual Instruction is ideal because itallows for a break between two lengthy components of the ceremony. The Affirmations of Faith component is longer because it is followed by a gospel presentation by the officiating pastor.

**A second special music selection is not required, but if desired, after the Giving of Rings and during the Unity Candle provides smooth flow.

POSITIONING OF COUPLE AND PASTOR

Depending on the format of the platform, you may have the option of having your backs facing your guests with the pastor's back toward the guests. Each format has strengths, though most guests would prefer to have you facing them.

SAMPLE VOWS

Option 1: More Traditional

I, Sean, take you Jodi to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do us part or the Lord comes for His own. To you I pledge my faithfulness.

I, Jodi, take you Sean to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sichness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do us part or the Lord comes for His own. To you I pledge my faithfulness.

Option 2: More Contemporary

I, Sean, before God who brought us together, take you Jodi to be my wife, to love and cherish you even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her, to lead you and share all of life's experiences with you by following Christ through them, that by His grace we might grow together inot the likeness of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

I, Jodi, before Go who brought us together, take you Sean to be my husband, to love and cherish you, to submit myself to you in all things, and to follow you though all of life's experiences as you follow Christ, that by His grace, we might grow together into the likeness of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

Reception

Wedding receptions will be directed by personnel appointed by the church. ALl those who serve at the wedding reception should be at the church to meet with the reception coordinator 30 minutes before the wedding ceremony begins.

The reception coordinator will provide you with a list of what is provided by the church and what you will need to provide. All family-furnished reception items should be brought to the church at the time of the rehearsal, unless other arrangements have been made.

REHEARSAL

All wedding rehearsals begin at 6pm. The officiating pastor is in charge of the rehearsal. He will be assisted by the wedding coordinator, who will direct the procedure concerning the processional and the arrangment of the wedding party. Please inform your wedding party to arrive early so the rehearsal can begin as scheduled. The marriage license should be brought to the rehearsal and given to the officiating pastor.

To ensure a smooth ceremony, all members of the wedding party (including ushers, grandparents, etc) need to attend the rehearsal. It is the couple's responsibility to have the wedding party in attendance.

At the rehearsal, special music participants will not rehearse their pieces. Here they will learn their cues and timing for taking their places on stage. They must practice together some time before the rehearsal (just prior to it is fine) and meet with the sound technisian to do a sound check.

WISE RECEPTION PLANNING

What follows is a not a list of "dos" and "don'ts," but items to carefully consider as you prayerfully plan your wedding celebration for the greater glory of Jesus Christ. It is offered to provoke thoughtfulness in planning your extraordinary day of worship.

With the biblical starting point that everything (including your wedding and reception) is to be worship aimed at exalting Christ (Romans 12:1-2) and is to be done with the greater glory of God in mind (1 Corinthians 10:31), here are some things to consider:

1. Drinking

The Bible tells us that God has given us things usch as wine for our enjoyment (Psalm 104:15), but remember that God also considers drunkenness a sin (Ephesians 5:18). If you are going to have an alcoholic drink at your offsite reception (alcohol is not permitted at OBC facilities for liability reasons), be sure to show wisdom in this regard. You cannot control the behavior of others, but there are things you can do to sensibly enjoy the good gifts of God and not promot drunkenness. Since this is your wedding day, you do have a leadership responsibility for what happens at your reception.

2. Dancing

The Bible does not forbid dancing, so OBC does not either. Additionally, sex is not forbidden (see 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 where it is actually encouraged), but sex is designed by God to be a private act between husband and wife (Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 5:28). Therefor sexually provocative dancing that takes place on a public dance floor is not consistent with Christian conduct. If you are going to include dancing as part of your wedding celebration, show wisdom in choosing the music, DJ, and in other related issues. Wedding receptions that include dancing are to be held offsite.

3. Music

An additional matter related to dancing is the music you select for your reception. It would make no sense to testify to your personal allegiance to Christ during your wedding ceremony only to host a reception where Christ's command to have only good things spoken is violated through your musical selections (see Ephesians 4:29-32).

In working through these issues, remember that while family members may be helping you plan the wedding day and in some cases are even paying for it , you are the one getting married. Remember tha Christ Jesus is the Lord of lords who calls us to radical devotion to Him for our good and His glory! Your wedding day is a great opportunity for you to model a Christian worldview that is quick to see the good gifts from God and enjoy them--but wisely.

May the pleasure you find on your wedding day be an act of holy worship focused on our great God and Savior Jesus Christ who is the giver of all good gifts!

Nebraska Marriage License Laws

LICENSE

--Both men and women age 17-18 must have consent to marry in Nebraska.

--No man or woman under the age of 17 can marry in Nebraska, even with parental consent.

--First cousins or closer cannot marry in Nebraska.

--All divorce decrees must be final.

--A license becomes balid on the date typed on said license, and expires 1 year from date issued.

A license can be obtained from:

Douglas County Clerk's Office

1819 Farnam, Room H08

(402) 444-6745 for a recorded message

(402) 444-6456 (fax)

tcavanau@co.douglas.ne.us

Hours are 8:30-5:00, Mon-Fri

CONSENTS

--Only one parent needs to sign the consent if parents are living together and both consent to the marriage.

--If parents are divorced, the parent awarded legal custody and control of said minor must sign the consent.

--If parents are separated but not legally divorced, both must consent to the marriage and sign the contract.

--A legal guardian appointed by the Court may sign a consent.

--All consents must be written and notarized.

FEES

Marraige License: $15.00

APPLICATION BY MAIL

--It is possible to make application for a marriage license by mail if one or both parties are out of town.

--Upon request, an application blank will be sent to the parties of them to complete and sign before a Notary Public or County Judge.

--After completing the form, the couple sends it back to the office of the County Judge with certified ocpies of their birth certificates and the $15.00 fee. If consents are needed, they send these at the same time.

--Upon receipt of the above items, the license will be issued.